Life seems like a mystery until you find love
by fromthebooth
Summary: Hermione has spent her entire life waiting for something...she just doesn't know what. Until she finds it...not in the world, but in the love of a person she never expected. Please review!


1**Author's Note:_I got bored and decided to write something…so here you go. Hope you enjoy, and please read the novel I'm writing that has nothing to do with this. This entire thing is either Hermione's thoughts…or her diary. I'll let you decide._**

Throughout my entire life leading up to Hogwarts, I knew I was different. I knew that something was pushing me away from the other children. They didn't seem to realize it as much as I did, so I pretended to befriend them, just waiting for that moment that would set me apart from the others. That would tell me what was so different about me.

When my Hogwarts letter came, I thought that that was the moment. The thing that told me that I was destined for something big. I thought that was what set me apart. But I was wrong.

When I got to Hogwarts, I still felt different. I still felt separated. Sure, I made some friends, but I wasn't really as close to them as everyone thought I would be. I just stuck to the books, waiting for something big to happen. I had waited all my life, and waiting a bit more couldn't hurt.

At the end of my first year, helping Harry battle his way to the Sorcerer's stone could have been it. But it wasn't. I could tell.

Getting petrified in my second year definitely wasn't it. That was for sure.

Saving Sirius and Buckbeak in my third year gave me a temporary feeling of satisfaction, but temporary does not help set the course of your life. I still needed my feeling, my sense of belonging…my calling.

When Ron and I were helping Harry with the Tri-Wizard, I was distracted from the feeling. I was more worried about helping my friend than I was about helping myself. But, the Tri-Wizard ended, and I got the feeling back, 10 times worse. I felt even more separated and deranged than I ever had before.

In 5th year, when we battled the Death Eaters, and Professor Umbridge, I couldn't help but feel happier than I had over summer, as I was surrounded by friends, and the D.A.

I never noticed that one person changed how I felt whenever I was with them. I never saw what was right in front of my face. I never knew…and I never considered.

At least, not until the end of 6th year. That year was a real eye opener. Suddenly, I knew why I had always been separated. Why I had always been different. Why I was waiting for that feeling. And, why Harry and Ginny being together had made me angry.

Sure, I never said a thing to anyone about it, but it made me angrier and more distant than I had ever been. I was good friends with both of them, and I just didn't understand it.

But, that day, right after Dumbledore's funeral, Harry and Ron had left to go gather their thoughts, leaving me and Ginny under a tree near the lake. We sat in silence for awhile, before Ginny finally spoke.

"Hermione, did I do something to make you angry?"

Right then I knew that my big deal about life was completely out of my control. How could I have possibly let it get so far as to affect my friendships. We talked about that for awhile...I explained everything to her. I bore my soul, and she accepted it with open arms.

After I finished my story, Ginny didn't say anything for awhile, until she began to speak very quietly, and tentative, like I would yell at her any moment.

"Hermione? I think...well...I think I know what your problem is."

"Well?? What is it? Ginny, spit it out."

"Hermione...I think...I think...I think your gay."

Right about that second, my world came crashing down. Not because I was angry at her for calling me gay, but I had realized that she was right.

I was gay. I AM gay.

And I was in love with her. That's why I was so upset about her and Harry's relationship. Now that I had an explanation for it, everything seemed so simple. So...right. Everything was going to be ok.

"Hermione?"

"Ya, Ginny?"

"Do you...well...do you...like...me?"

OH GEEZ. What could I possibly say? Should I tell her? She deserves to know. She has the right. But am I ready to let her know? Less than I minute after I figure everything out? But she has this gleam in her eye...not the fear I was expecting...but...eagerness. She Wanted me to like her!

"Yes. Ginny. I do. I like you. In fact...I think I may love–"

And then, my sentence was cut off in a searing kiss that I can never forget. Not that I would ever try.

"Hermione?"

"Uh...yes Ginny?"

"I love you too."

"I know."


End file.
